How to Rethink Your Career and Life Direction at Any Age

It’s normal to sometimes question the path you’re currently on. You might be feeling like you’re unsatisfied with your career or life choices; perhaps a big event has made you question things, or you might be simply seeking more purpose and fulfilment.

So figuring out “what you want to be” is a question to think about, if you are starting to consider changing your work or life direction.

This question is not just about career choices—it’s about finding alignment between your actions, values, and having a sense of purpose.

For adults, thinking about this this can feel challenging, as it often requires breaking free from established mindset or lifestyle patterns, and / or societal expectations.

How To Find Out What And Who You Want To Be

Discovering who you want to be, and what you want to do, requires a deep understanding of yourself and how you might want to spend your time. Often in life we are looking for particular feelings and emotions – most of us want to feel happy and peaceful, but often we find that happiness and peace within spending our time with things that challenge and stimulate us in healthy ways.

The First Step

The first thing we need to do when thinking about what we want to be, or how to change our lives, is to remove the pressure to make one single choice or decision. This can often stop us moving forward when often we aren’t even sure where we are going or what we ‘should’ be going, and there are lots of limiting beliefs stored in our subconscious mind that could be holding us back too.

It’s not about making one perfect decision, so you don’t need to pressure yourself with finding the perfect answer or fit, or the perfect thing to do to move forward.

How To Get Started

When you start to think about aligning your actions and lifestyle with what truly matters to you, it’s easier to understand what directions you could begin to move in. To do this, you can create a ‘lifestyle assessment’ where you create a solid overview of your life and who you are.

1. Assess Your Current Situation

Start by taking stock of your current reality. Reflect on your daily routines, habits, and the work you do. Write down how you currently spend your time, consider what you enjoy, what you don’t enjoy. Then get deeper – for example, if you are unhappy in your current work, ask what tasks do you like, and what do you not like?

Overviewing your life in this way will help you to a solid overview of where you are, in order to determine where you want to get to.

2. Clarify Your Values

Once you’ve taken stock of your current reality, the next step is getting clear on your core values. Your values are your guiding principles—they shape your decisions, define your priorities, and influence your behavior. If your work or lifestyle conflicts with your values, you’re likely to feel disconnected from your purpose.

Ask yourself:

• What’s truly important to me?
• What impact do I want to have?
• Where have I compromised my values for security or external expectations?

By understanding your values, you can better align your life with them, and eliminate conflicts that drain your energy.

3. Differentiate Between External Expectations And Internal Desires

Many of our decisions are influenced by external expectations—society, family, or financial pressures. It’s essential to distinguish between what you truly want and what you’ve been conditioned to pursue.

Reflect on:

• Are my goals shaped by my genuine interests or by societal expectations?
• If money and status weren’t factors, what would I pursue?
  

A 2020 study in Journal of Vocational Behavior emphasized that people who pursue intrinsic goals—such as personal growth and relationships—experience greater satisfaction compared to those driven by external rewards like salary, or recognition.

Prioritising intrinsic goals can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Figuring Out What You Really Want

Once you’ve gained some self-awareness, it’s time to take action. The following steps will help you clarify what you truly want out of life. Once you get clear on what comes next, it’s easy to keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward.

Often, we get stuck because we simply don’t know what the next steps are that move us in the direction of what we might want; this guide will help you to figure out exactly what you might want, and, how to start moving forward in that direction.

1. Start With What You Don’t Want

Often, it’s easier to begin by identifying what you don’t want. Make a list of tasks, responsibilities, or aspects of your current life that drain your energy or feel misaligned.

2. Recognize Your Peak Experiences

Reflect on moments in your life when you felt most energized and engaged. These “peak experiences” are often clues to your core interests and strengths.

Ask yourself:

• What was I doing when I felt most alive?
  
• What strengths or skills was I using during these moments?

Recognizing these experiences helps you understand which activities align with your true nature.

3. Experiment With Interests

Don’t feel pressured to make an immediate leap. Instead, explore new directions, by experimenting with interests. This might include

• Taking a short course or workshop in a new field.

• Starting a side project or hobby that you’ve always wanted to try.

• Volunteering in areas you’re curious about.

Research published in Harvard Business Review suggests that “side projects” or exploratory hobbies often lead to greater career satisfaction and can even open new career paths . Experimenting gives you the chance to test new waters without making drastic changes.

4. Visualise Your Ideal Future

Visualization is a powerful tool for clarifying your goals. Take a moment to imagine your life five or ten years from now.

What does your day look like? How do you spend your time? What is important to you? Visualizing this future helps crystallize what success and happiness mean to you on a deeper level.

The Best Exercises to Help You Discover What You Really Want

Practical exercises can be instrumental in uncovering your true desires and getting a clearer sense of direction. Use these exercises to continue the process above.

Just grab a notebook and choose the one which feels most appealing to you. Or you can try them one at a time, if you’re unsure of where to begin.

It’s not important which one you choose, just get started. Finding who you want to be is more of a process that you should make time for over a longer time period, rather than just expecting the answers to arrive in one moment. This kind of expectation leaves you feeling frustrated and stuck, and no closer to realising what you want.

Instead, work through these exercises and the answers will reveal themselves.

1. Mind Mapping

Create a mind map centered around a question like, “What do I want to be?” Branch out to include your interests, passions, values, and possible career paths.

Mind mapping helps organize your thoughts and makes connections you might not have seen otherwise.

2. The Perfect Day Exercise

Imagine your perfect day, from start to finish. Write down every detail—where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with.

This exercise reveals the type of lifestyle you desire and helps you align your goals with that vision.

3. The ‘Five Whys’ Method

Use the “Five Whys” method to uncover the root cause of your desires. Start with a simple statement, like “I want more freedom,” and ask why five times, digging deeper with each response.

This process helps you reach the core of what’s truly driving you.

4. Journaling

Journaling is a reflective practice that can bring clarity over time. Use prompts like:

• What activities make me lose track of time?
• What would I do if financial concerns were no obstacle?
• What am I passionate about, and how can I integrate that into my life?

The Best Resources To Help You Find Out Who You Want To Be

In addition to self-reflection, external resources can provide valuable guidance. Here are some of the best tools and strategies for discovering your purpose:

Books

Some of the most highly recommended books for personal growth and career clarity include:

• Designing Your Life, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans: This book offers a design-thinking approach to creating a fulfilling life by aligning your work and passions.
• Atomic Habits, James Clear: Clear’s book focuses on the small habits and mindset shifts that lead to long-term personal transformation.

Personality Assessments

Personality assessments, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), CliftonStrengths, or the Enneagram, can give you deeper insights into your natural strengths, preferences, and tendencies. These tools can help guide your decisions and point you toward careers or lifestyles that align with your core traits.

Coaching And Mentoring

Working with a life coach or mentor can provide structure, accountability, and perspective. Coaches help you challenge limiting beliefs, set realistic goals, and develop actionable plans for personal growth.

Online Learning Platforms

Websites like Coursera, Udemy, and Skillshare offer courses on a wide range of topics. If you’re considering a career shift, enrolling in a course is a low-risk way to explore new subjects or build new skills.

Networking And Community

Surround yourself with like-minded people who are also focused on personal growth. Networking events, online communities, and professional organizations can provide inspiration and introduce you to new opportunities.

The Bottom Line

Discovering what you want to be is not just about choosing a career; it’s about aligning your lifestyle with your values and creating a fulfilling, purposeful life.

The process requires more than just finding the right job—it involves cultivating a mindset of curiosity, openness, and growth. Having an open mindset, and the willingness to make new lifestyle choices, are key in helping you evolve into what, and who you’ve always wanted to become.

By shifting your mindset to prioritize experimentation over perfection, you create space for personal growth.

Rather than seeking a rigid path, focus on adaptability, continuous learning, and small lifestyle adjustments that move you closer to the life you want.

Research on career adaptability shows that individuals who maintain flexibility and openness to change tend to have more fulfilling lives and careers .

With the right mindset, continuous reflection, and deliberate action, you can create a life that aligns with your purpose, bringing both personal satisfaction and professional success.