How To Set Goals & Make It Happen

I used to be part of the 92% of people who fail at their goals. I’d write down ambitious targets, get excited for a few days, then completely forget about them. Sound familiar?

After years of trial and error (and diving deep into the research), I finally cracked the code. The difference between dreamers and achievers isn’t talent or luck—it’s how they approach goal setting.

The Shocking Truth About Goal Setting

Here’s what most people don’t know about goal setting:

The Numbers Don’t Lie

Goal Setting Statistics That Will Change How You Think:

• Only 8% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions
• People who write down goals are 42% more likely to achieve them (Dominican University study)
• 70% of successful people review their goals weekly
• Those who share goals with accountability partners have an 85% success rate

I was shocked when I first learned these numbers. It explained why my vague “I want to get fit” never worked, but my specific “lose 15 pounds by June 1st” did.

Winners vs. Wishers: The Research-Backed Difference

Dr. Gail Matthews from Dominican University studied 267 participants and found that written goals combined with accountability increased achievement by 76%.

Winners do this:

• Write specific, measurable goals
• Share them with accountability partners
• Review progress weekly
• Adjust strategies based on data

Wishers do this:

• Keep goals vague (“be healthier”)
• Never write anything down
• Hope motivation will carry them through
• Quit when they hit obstacles

Why Goal Setting Transforms Your Life (According to Science)

Your Brain on Goals: The Neuroscience

When you set clear goals, your reticular activating system (RAS) kicks into high gear. This is your brain’s filtering system—it starts noticing opportunities and resources you’d normally miss.

Real example: After I wrote down “earn $10,000 from writing,” I suddenly noticed freelance opportunities everywhere. They were always there; my brain just wasn’t looking for them.

The Motivation Multiplication Effect

Research from Harvard Business School shows that people with written goals earn 10 times more than those without goals. Why? Because goals create what psychologists call “implementation intention”—your brain pre-decides what actions to take.

The Dopamine Connection:

• Each small win releases dopamine
• Dopamine reinforces the behavior
• You become addicted to progress
• Success becomes a habit, not an accident

Enhanced Decision-Making Power

Goals act as a filter for every choice you make. When you know exactly what you’re working toward, decisions become effortless. Every choice gets filtered through one question: “Does this move me closer to my goal?”

The Winner’s Goal-Setting System: My 5-Step Process

After studying successful people and testing different methods, here’s the system that finally worked:

Step 1: The Brain Dump Breakthrough

Time needed: 20 minutes
What you’ll need: Paper and pen (not digital—research shows handwriting activates different brain regions)

Set a timer and write down everything you want to achieve. No filters, no judgment. Let your mind run wild.

Pro tip: I do this in different categories: Health, Career, Relationships, Personal Growth, Fun. It prevents tunnel vision.

Step 2: The Priority Matrix Filter

Take your brain dump and sort goals using the MoSCoW method:

• Must Have: Essential for happiness/success (focus 70% of energy here)
• Should Have: Important but not critical (20% of energy)
• Could Have: Nice to have if time permits (10% of energy)
• Won’t Have: Not worth pursuing right now (eliminate completely)

Reality check: Most people try to pursue everything. Winners focus ruthlessly on what matters most.

Step 3: The SMART-R Conversion

Transform your priority goals using SMART-R (I added the R):

• Specific: What exactly will you achieve?
• Measurable: How will you track progress?
• Achievable: Is this realistic given your resources?
• Relevant: Does this align with your values?
• Time-bound: When will you complete this?
• Rewarding: What will you gain when you achieve this?

Before: “Get better at writing”
After: “Publish 2 high-quality blog posts per week for 6 months to build my personal brand and attract 1,000 email subscribers”

Step 4: The Reverse Engineering Method

This is where winners separate from wishers. Start with your end goal and work backwards:

Example Goal: Launch online course by December 31st

• December 31st: Course launch
• December 1st: Marketing campaign begins
• November 1st: Course content finalized
• October 1st: Course platform set up
• September 1st: Course outline complete
• August 1st: Market research finished
• July 1st: Course topic decided

Now you have a roadmap, not just a destination.

Step 5: The Weekly Review Ritual

Every Sunday, spend 30 minutes reviewing:

• What progress did I make this week?
• What obstacles did I encounter?
• What do I need to adjust for next week?
• What support do I need?

Track these metrics:

• Goals completed this week
• Progress percentage on major goals
• Obstacles encountered
• Lessons learned

Advanced Strategies: The Winner’s Toolkit

The 3-2-1 Rule (My Personal Framework)

After experimenting with different approaches, I developed this system:

• 3 Major Goals: Big, life-changing objectives
• 2 Skill Goals: Capabilities you want to develop
• 1 Fun Goal: Something purely for enjoyment

Why this works: It prevents overwhelm while ensuring balanced growth.

The Goal Stacking System

Layer complementary goals for maximum efficiency:

Example Stack:

• Health Goal: Work out 4x per week
• Career Goal: Network with 2 new people monthly
• Combined Action: Join a business professionals’ sports league

One activity, multiple goals achieved.

The Anti-Goal Method

Sometimes the best approach is defining what you DON’T want:

Traditional: “I want to be successful”
Anti-Goal: “I will not work jobs that drain my energy, with people I don’t respect, for less than $X per year”

This creates clearer boundaries and decision-making criteria.

Goal Setting for Different Personality Types

For Perfectionists: The 80% Rule

Problem: Perfectionists often don’t start because they can’t do it perfectly.
Solution: Commit to achieving 80% of your goal. It’s better than 0% while pursuing 100%.

For Procrastinators: The 2-Minute Rule

Problem: Goals feel overwhelming, so they avoid starting.
Solution: Break every goal into 2-minute actions. “Write a book” becomes “Write one sentence.”

For Overthinkers: The 90-Day Sprint

Problem: They get stuck in planning mode and never take action.
Solution: Set 90-day goals only. Less time to overthink, more urgency to act.

For People-Pleasers: The Selfish Hour

Problem: They sacrifice their goals for others’ needs.
Solution: Block one hour daily for your goals. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary.

The Ultimate Goal-Setting Resources

Essential Tools (Free & Paid)

Goal Tracking Apps:

• Notion (Free): Perfect for complex goal hierarchies
• Habitica (Free): Gamifies your goals
• Strides ($4.99/month): Simple, effective tracking

Analog Options:

• Bullet Journal Method: Flexible and customizable
• Wall Calendar: Visual and impossible to ignore
• Whiteboard: Great for daily visibility

Recommended Reading

Top 3 Books That Changed My Goal-Setting Game:

1. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear: Focus on systems, not goals
2. “The ONE Thing” by Gary Keller: Prioritization mastery
3. “High Performance Habits” by Brendon Burchard: What successful people do differently

Case Studies: Real People, Real Results

Case Study 1: Sarah’s Career Transformation

Background: Marketing coordinator wanting to become a freelance consultant
Goal: Earn $100,000 annually as a freelance marketing consultant within 18 months

Strategy:

• Month 1-6: Build portfolio with 3 pro-bono clients
• Month 7-12: Transition to paid clients, maintain part-time job
• Month 13-18: Go full-time freelance

Result: Hit $120,000 in month 16. The key? She reverse-engineered her goal and treated it like a business plan.

Case Study 2: Mike’s Health Journey

Background: 35-year-old dad, 50 pounds overweight
Goal: Lose 40 pounds and run a half-marathon in 12 months

Strategy:

• Used the 3-2-1 rule: 3 workouts per week, 2 healthy meal prep sessions, 1 long run
• Tracked everything in a simple spreadsheet
• Joined a running group for accountability

Result: Lost 45 pounds, completed half-marathon in 11 months. Bonus: His kids started joining his workouts.

Case Study 3: The Failure That Taught Everything

Background: Lisa wanted to “get organized”
What went wrong: Vague goal, no specific actions, no timeline

The pivot: She redefined her goal as “spend 30 minutes each Sunday meal prepping and planning the week for 3 months”

Result: Not only did she get organized, but she also saved 5 hours per week and reduced stress significantly.

Lesson: Specific goals with clear actions beat vague aspirations every time.

15 Goal Setting Questions That Change Everythin

The Quick-Win Questions

How many goals should I set at once?
Research suggests 3-5 major goals maximum. I personally follow the 3-2-1 rule. More than that and you’ll spread yourself too thin.

What if I fail to reach a goal?
Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s data. Analyze what went wrong, adjust your approach, and try again. I’ve “failed” at goals 47 times. Each failure taught me something valuable.

Should I share my goals with others?
Yes, but choose wisely. Share with people who will hold you accountable, not those who will discourage you. Research shows accountability partners increase success rates by 65%.

The Strategic Questions

How often should I review my goals?
Weekly reviews for progress, monthly for adjustments, quarterly for major pivots. Daily awareness, not daily obsession.

What if my goals change?
Goals should evolve as you do. Rigidly pursuing an outdated goal is as harmful as having no goals. I review and revise my goals quarterly.

Should I set easy or challenging goals?
Aim for the “Goldilocks zone”—challenging enough to stretch you, achievable enough to maintain motivation. Research shows moderately difficult goals produce the best results.

The Psychology Questions

How do I stay motivated when progress is slow?
Focus on process goals, not just outcome goals. Celebrate the daily actions, not just the end results. Progress compounds over time.

What’s the difference between goals and dreams?
Goals have deadlines, specific actions, and measurement criteria. Dreams are wishes without commitment. Transform dreams into goals by adding these elements.

How do I handle competing goals?
Prioritize ruthlessly using the MoSCoW method. Some goals support each other; others compete for resources. Choose the ones aligned with your core values.

The Implementation Questions

When should I abandon a goal?
When it no longer serves your values or vision. The sunk cost fallacy keeps people pursuing dead-end goals. Sometimes the greatest success is knowing when to pivot.

What if I don’t know what I want?
Start with anti-goals (what you DON’T want) and values exploration. Try the “5 Whys” technique—keep asking “why” until you reach your core motivation.

How do I make goals feel less overwhelming?
Break them into 2-minute actions. “Write a book” becomes “Write one sentence.” Momentum builds from small starts.

The Advanced Questions

Should I set goals in all life areas?
Balance is individual. Some people thrive with goals in all areas; others prefer focusing on 1-2 areas at a time. Experiment to find your sweet spot.

How do I deal with goal-setting anxiety?
Start with “minimum viable goals”—the smallest possible version of what you want. Success breeds confidence, which reduces anxiety.

What’s the biggest goal-setting mistake?
Setting goals for how you think you “should” be instead of who you actually are. Authentic goals aligned with your values have the highest success rates.

The Goal-Setting Mistakes That Kill Success

Mistake #1: The Perfectionist’s Trap

What it looks like: Waiting for the “perfect” goal or the “right” time to start.
Why it fails: Perfect is the enemy of done. You learn by doing, not by planning.
The fix: Set a “good enough” goal and start. You can always adjust later.

Mistake #2: The Motivation Myth

What it looks like: Believing you need to feel motivated to work toward your goals.
Why it fails: Motivation is fleeting. Discipline and systems create results.
The fix: Focus on building habits and systems that support your goals.

Mistake #3: The Isolation Error

What it looks like: Keeping goals secret or trying to achieve them alone.
Why it fails: Humans are social creatures. Isolation leads to giving up.
The fix: Find accountability partners, join communities, or hire a coach.

Mistake #4: The All-or-Nothing Mentality

What it looks like: “I missed one day, so I’ve failed completely.”
Why it fails: Life happens. Perfectionism kills progress.
The fix: Build in flexibility. Missing one day doesn’t ruin everything.

Your Goal-Setting Action Plan

Week 1: Foundation

•  Complete the Brain Dump exercise
•  Apply the Priority Matrix
•  Choose 3-5 goals using the 3-2-1 rule
•  Convert to SMART-R format

Week 2: Planning

•  Reverse engineer your goals into monthly milestones
•  Set up tracking systems
•  Identify potential obstacles
•  Find accountability partners

Week 3: Implementation

•  Start taking daily action
•  Track progress in your chosen system
•  Schedule your first weekly review
•  Adjust based on early lessons

Week 4: Optimization

•  Conduct first monthly review
•  Refine your systems
•  Celebrate wins (however small)
•  Plan for month 2

Final Thoughts: From Dreamer to Achiever

Goal setting isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. I’ve shared the strategies that transformed my life from chronic underachiever to someone who consistently hits targets.

Remember these key principles:

1. Specificity beats vagueness every time
2. Systems matter more than motivation
3. Progress compounds when you stay consistent
4. Flexibility prevents failure when life throws curveballs
5. Accountability accelerates achievement

The difference between dreamers and achievers isn’t talent, luck, or circumstances. It’s having a proven system for turning aspirations into reality.

Start with one goal. Apply these strategies. Track your progress. Adjust when needed. Success isn’t a destination—it’s a process you can master.

Your turn: What’s the one goal you’re going to tackle first? Write it down right now, make it SMART-R, and take the first small action today.

The research is clear, the strategies are proven, and the tools are in your hands. Now it’s time to become the person who sets goals like a winner.